Some situations, such as because of office assignments or other tasks that require you to leave your child in a matter of days or months, sometimes you cannot be left alone. Even some young couples who get this condition often leave their children with their family, relatives or mother-in-law. Things that you have to consider when leaving your child for months and even years are the consequences for the child. Even if you leave your child at the age of five it will affect the psychology. At the toddler age, children are not ready to be abandoned by their parents for a long time, at the toddler age children still need love and attention. If you are going to be traveling for a long time, you should invite your child or your toddler to stay with the father, this is to create a comfortable feeling for your child.
The next consideration is the mental readiness of your child because at the age of five children are still very dependent on their closeness to their parents. Even so, the child’s condition will vary when he is left on duty in months or years, one of the factors that influence it is when the child is used to being abandoned when he is a baby and has received substitute love, protection and attention from other family members, so that the effect is not so big than in children who are accustomed to parents. Even though it is not severe, children will experience stress so that parents should be able to minimize the effect.
At the age of toddlers, they still cannot understand why their parents have to leave them so that it will trigger stress for the child to lose one of his parents for a long time. Especially if both parents leave the child, this will traumatize him, cause a lack of appetite or other behavior as a sign of protest. The first signs of your child’s protest tend to be quiet, cranky and moody. If your child is more accustomed to being a substitute parent for a long time, then the closeness that should be with the parents will move and become more comfortable with the attention and affection of the substitute. Thus forming a personality that is rigid, awkward and less expressive in expressing affection, this depends on the trauma he has experienced. Here are some preparations that parents can do before leaving toddlers for work or continuing school, preparation is intended to minimize bad effects on children:
- We recommend that you make preparations, at least 1-3 months before you will leave your child for a long time.
- You can slowly explain about the substitute figure to the child, take the approach in advance so that your child is ready and used to the substitute figure
- You can first build cooperation with a substitute character that you trust, so that you can build a good relationship between you and your child even though they are far away. Always maintain communication between you and your child even if it is a long distance.
- It would be better if a substitute figure lives in your home so that your child does not need to adapt to his new environment.
- All preparations must be done slowly and with a gradual explanation for example, “Mom will go away for a while, so when you go, please be the same as grandparent, don’t be afraid because mom will always call you, son”.