Although there are many myths that say that twins seem to be connected to each other with such a strong bond. However, it seems that if a case like the one above occurs in our children, it will also be troublesome for mothers to organize and take care of twins. It doesn’t matter maybe, if the twins work together in doing more positive things like helping parents together, sharing things together and so on. However, when the twins are so dependent on each other that one cannot walk without the other in an unfavorable way, such as going to school, it will certainly be a hassle for parents.
So how to educate and raise twins so that they are not interdependent? Should we separate them so they can try to stand on their own without the shadow of their twins? The answer is, of course not.
Sometimes, the twins’ behavior that often wants to be together and live in interdependence can be part of developing a myth that they are starting to recognize and this is starting to get embedded in them. So when someone says that twins are always together wherever they go, it makes it seem like they are doing the same to themselves and trying to set themselves up to be together. Finally, when a moment arises where they have to be separated, this will actually make them feel like they are in trouble and find it hard for them to live.
For this reason, for mothers who raise twins, it is better to adopt an upbringing pattern that makes them understand that twins do not mean to be together and cannot be separated. The same face and stature does not mean that they have to depend on their twins. Like other children with siblings of the same age, twins can also carry out their activities as usual.
Well, here are some things parents can do so that their twins can grow independently and live in the shadow of their twins. What is this like? We consider the following.
1. Give Them Different Activities
In order to educate and make it a habit so that the twins are not dependent on each other and so that each of them does not feel overshadowed by their twins, it is very necessary for parents to look for and seek something that can make them separate. But that does not mean permanently separating them or even making them live on different roofs. Separating here means getting used to the twins to do their own activities without their twins. One way is to provide different activities for them.
We parents often arrange the same activities for the twins. However, this should be avoided because this could make them compete with each other. It is better to encourage the twins to do different activities but according to their interests and abilities. Whatever the result, still give them credit for the hard work they put in. In addition, avoid paying excessive attention to children when they have just started their activities. It is feared that this will trigger jealousy in each of the children.
2. Give it a different appearance
It seems that it is not something strange for parents who have twins, especially if they are girls, parents will love to dress and provide the same accessories for their children. However, by doing this, it will actually make the twins even more in the shadows of each other. It’s best not to do this and not give the child the same costume or appearance.
Although seeing them in a similar appearance makes you appear happy, it is for their good that you should avoid doing this. For that, make sure to distinguish everything that relates the appearance of the child so that they do not look the same as possible.
3. Spend Time Together with Parents
Look for ways that you can spend time together with one of your twins. In this way, they will not feel so dependent on others. Now, when you have this moment with one of your twins, even if it’s only for a minute, then make good use of this time by building closeness with them.
You may be wondering, won’t this spark the jealousy of other children. Of course not, if you don’t overdo one child, while the other twins are watching you.
You can spend this closeness, for example when children are queuing for a shower and you feel you are relaxing, then invite your twins to chat or talk to them calmly. Don’t make the impression that you only pay attention to one child. In addition, make the children understand that you are still a parent they can rely on instead of just depending on each other.
4. Doing activities without its twin
Twins are generally more likely to do many activities together, as a result this is more likely to cause divisions between them. For this reason, as a good parent you have to be able to find ways and do everything so that your twins do not clash. One way is to get the twins to do different activities. For example, you can ask one of your twins to go out to play with a friend or other relative.
While one other child, you can ask to play with their father or play with his nephew. The less time they spend together, the less chance there will be a split between the two. This way they will still get along and be independent of each other.
Having twins is fun, every day you can see two similar faces with similar appearances. It’s just that, it will be tricky if the twins have started to depend on and feel like living together with the shadow of their twin brother. For this reason, it is hoped that the method above can help mothers in taking care and seeking solutions so that they can be independent. Hopefully these tips are useful.