Often the behavior of children who are too active and too agile makes parents frustrated in managing and disciplining them.
Moreover, when the child’s behavior is above normal limits by hurting or harming other people. This of course will make parents dizzy and confused about them. When children behave too actively or even this behavior tends to be naughty behavior, it is very necessary for parents to make every effort so that they do not make the same mistake, one of which is to take action. discipline the children.
It’s just that, often this noble intention can slip into mistakes that make parents give excessive responses to naughty behavior by their children, such as by abusing children because of unbearable emotions. So is it true that the only way to punish and discipline children who behave naughty is only done with violence? The answer is of course not.
An act of violence, whatever its form, such as tugging, pinching, hitting or even slapping a child in front of the public is behavior that parents should not do in terms of educating children. The character of each child is different, you may find that your neighborhood is successful in making their children become obedient and obedient to their parents after their father or mother harasses and hits their child when the child makes a mistake. But this does not mean that the same can work for your children.
It could be that your child’s mentality is not as tough as the neighbor’s child, so when they make a mistake and you give punishment in the form of violence, this will actually make the child mentally shrink and make their soul shaken, as a result you will become a person who is so feared by children you. It’s just that fear here is not in a good sense which makes children obedient and obedient, but rather gives birth to depressed children.
On the other hand, maybe your child is so mentally tough that when you abuse them when they make a mistake, instead of being successful, it will actually make the child more rebellious and more unruly.
Actually, the meaning of educating and disciplining children means teaching them to learn to obey the rules and regulations in life together, whether in a family environment, in society or when the child is in school. Where this attitude is very important instilled in children to limit child’s behavior and avoid children who act and behave the way I want.
The discipline that exists in children will also make children learn to be able to control themselves. Unfortunately, applying a disciplined attitude to children is often connoted with “punishing” or “firm” actions against violations committed by children.
Often times, there are complaints of children who are difficult to discipline, who always fight and rebel against the rules and regulations that are made. However, an act of violence will not only be able to change the child’s behavior, it will also be able to worsen the relationship with the child.
So what is the best way to discipline and punish children? The answer is to give love and love, not to think that the mistakes that the children make are absolute sins that must be dealt with firmly. Well, we see what are the important points that must be considered in disciplining and punishing you with compassion.
Pay attention! Discipline Is Not Violence
The cultivation of discipline towards children, meanwhile, is still identified with applying violence against children. Every mistake and violation committed by a child often requires parents to provide strict punishment and action that ends in violence. In fact, acts of violence such as yanking, pinching, pulling up to locking children in a closed room will interfere with their mental development which is carried over to adulthood.
Mental disturbance in children cannot be cured as easily and quickly as when a child has a scratch or abrasion on his body. If the physical pain they suffer takes 1 to 2 months to heal, then the mental wounds in children will take years for them to come back in a better state, even then their condition will not return to normal. Because mental disorders due to violence will usually be related to memory in children, which will always remember and haunt them if the memory is more of a bad part. For example, as adults we may still remember how bad memories we had when we were little.
Set an Example and Be a Comfortable Environment for Children
Naughty attitudes and lack of discipline in children are often the result of an imitation process that they get from their surroundings, including the family environment where most of the time they spend is in the house. If the example of behavior shown by parents or other adults is in the form of violence, crime or even behaving at will, then this will indirectly make the child imitate him.
Conversely, if the example shown by adults to children is positive behavior and affection, then the psychological impact on the child is also a good thing. For this reason, as much as possible be a good example and try to create a comfortable family environment for them. Living surrounded by loved ones who always spread love, will make children feel safe and feel protected. In this way, there is no reason for children to disobey and disobey the orders of their loved ones.
Establish Good Communication with Children to Avoid Violence
Generally, children from the age of two at least they have begun to understand the words and conversations that other people convey to him. When the child’s behavior is recalcitrant and it is very difficult to discipline, then do not rush to the child and give him violent punishment by hitting or abusing him.
Instead, approach the child and hold his knees on the shoulder to reach him, then give them the understanding that what they are doing is not a commendable act that they should not repeat. In addition, convey it subtly in words or language that is easily understood by the child.
When your attitude and speech are subtle, then this will make the child calmer and more ready to listen to and obey all the words of our parents. Conversely, acts of violence will not only hurt children, but will also make them shock. This of course will not solve the problem and make children become disciplined at once.
Disciplining children is indeed an important lesson that must be instilled when children are still early. However, this does not mean allowing and allowing you to commit acts of violence in the practice of applying discipline to them.