A stepmother can also be loved and embrace her family like a mother in general. Entering a new family environment where our spouse has children will generally require more adjustment. Initially not all children can accept the presence of new people in their lives, especially if that person replaces their mother’s position, where the mother’s role is the person closest to the child. It takes time and approach so that a stepmother can be accepted and embraced in her new family environment.
Well, the following tips will help you how to become a good stepmother and be loved by children.
1. Understand the Child
The first way that you are immediately welcomed into a new family environment, especially by the children of your current partner, is to understand the child. Even though they are not your biological children, you must still be kind and understand them. Recognize that separation between children’s parents is not their choice. So it is not the children who choose their stepmother. However, it is you who choose the father and them.
2. Talking to Children Openly
At the initial stage, don’t expect that your stepchildren will come up to you and accept you gracefully. Children who have a new stepmother, will tend to think that their stepmother is the one who has stolen their father from their mother. There is nothing wrong, if you try to get children to talk openly and make them understand that you are not their enemy. However, to do this, of course, you need to pay attention to the age of the child, so that you can make adjustments to your approach.
3. Don’t Expect The Child To Call You ‘Mama’
Every woman has the right to get a ‘mama’ call from the child she has been born with. However, for those of you who are stepmothers, don’t get your hopes up about it. Know that there are still many important things in how you build a good relationship with the child. Thus focus on that thing, even though it seems this will be difficult for you.
4. Be Parents, Not Friends
The stepmother will usually try so hard to please her stepchildren. This is generally done at an early stage to bring their relationship closer. But when you have seen your stepchildren, you can understand that if you really love him, the next step is to be a parent. Because children don’t need a stepmother as a friend, all they need is a parent who can teach them and correct them if they are wrong. Your job as a parent is to love and care for children and be a guide for them. So it would be better not to teach kids bad things just because you want to look cool in front of your stepchildren.
5. Always There For Children
A separation will certainly have a bad mental and psychological impact on a child which makes them feel lonely and ignored. As a good stepmother, the best gift you can give them is the presence of a mother who is always there for them in any condition.
Sometimes it takes a long time and extra patience for a stepmother to be accepted into her new family. But always being kind and showing your love for them will make your bond and closeness with them faster.